Anger stalks me. It confuses me. Why am I angry? How can I stop being angry? Should I be angry? Should I express my anger?
Do I hurt those I love by constantly expressing anger? Will it change things? For good or bad? Will it break love? Will I loose respect? Is anger a habit? Is it a way to tell me something is wrong and must change? Why get angry about something someone has no control over? How do I know the person has no control? Maybe they just do not want to change? Why can't someone tell me what to do? How to feel?
I hold on to the carpet. My heart throbs in anger. Anger sweeps through my body. My throat feels dry. I taste it in my mouth. I do not know what to do. Reasoning does not help. My heart tries to escape through my throat. My tears try to escape through my eyes. I try to escape from myself.
There are no easy answers.
There should not be.
Maybe no-one needs to win?
10 comments:
It's so weird this thing with the hormones and the moods and all that other factors. I never know what causes what. It is as if I were forever experimenting. What happens if I do this? How do I feel? Sigh.
When I'm angry for me it's best to do something physical. Do housework or exercise. Use the anger-energy.
the things that make me angry are things that are either out of my control or that happen to mess me up, slow me down, or endanger my control over the situation. I lose control about loss of control. it's really a waste of time, because I'm not going to GET control by having a tantrum.
sometimes, though, I get angry and it clarifies my thinking and I ride a burst of energy and activity that gives me a sense of control.
I know this weird anger that gets you so muddled and confused and frustrated. the anger that you just don't get. I feel this, too.
Damn hormones.
I am just so bad at being angry. The gender norms are so deeply ingrained in me that I can do nothing but run from it lest I (god forbid) express it. It is probably where Joe and I have the most trouble communicating. He sees me running away and I think I'm giving myself time to think first, act later so that the anger doesn't lead me to say or do things I'll regret.
I hope that you find some release and that you can use it for growth in a way that I am so afraid to do.
Thinking of you.
I think you can choose to not be angry. I never used to think that, but I've learned to let go of a lot of my anger in the past year. It feels good too.
What are you angry about?
Anger can be healthy or it can be destructive. It just depends on the level that it's taken. I've heard someone say that the root of all anger is fear. Are you ok?
Scream at the moon, love. Don't cage it, redirect it to something without feelings and let it fly. It's ok to feel how you feel. Then let serenity flood in.
it's so isolating, isn't it? so very isolating.
for me, it's not about being right. it's about being understood.
i can't handle being misunderstood. it makes me want to find a safe warm place. and if i was in that place i'd come over to your place for a beer and a talk and a long hug.
i've got one in the fridge. my arms are wide open. the moon is almost full.
IMHO, I think being angry is OK, besides it's human nature.
To be able to release it is good, to let it all out makes you feel much better.
But it can also be destructive, so we should know how to control our anger.
Hope you'll feel OK, soon.
There's nothing inherently wrong with being a little irked, once in a while. Find an outlet. Take a walk. Journal. Getting out into nature, by myself, always helps me put things into perspective.
I (and my HH) wish my hormones were at least a little more predictable!!
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