Initiation

this morning i woke up to a dream
about the blood of jesus.

experiencing the ritual sacrifice of a goat
changed this familiar tale.

i guess the goat visited my dreams after all.

contracting and expanding

as i walk into the rest of my life
i feel my heart rapidly contracting
and expanding.

i find out my new job is badly paid
my safety contracts.
i read through my research brief
my thoughts expand.

the new spiritual initiation
i enter into
confuses my heart.
am i contracting,
or expanding,
trusting like a fool
dancing over the mountain edge?


when i feel my ancestors moving closer,
gently laughing at my fears,
holding me by moving closer,
my heart feels safe.

outside it is grey and wet.

we had some winter rains.
the fields i love to walk through
are blackened by winter fires.
in the late afternoon the sun dances across them.
small motes of dust contract and expand.

how do i write about my life
while my minds skids around the edges
not wanting to sink into the things i love?
dogs skipping through the twilight.
f. leaning in to kiss me,
boundaries expanding
new wisdom arriving.

to my life i surrender.

outside the
the sound of rain
falling through leaves.

inside computer sounds,
a light as round as a moon
and wolves snoring in their baskets.

today i wait in silence. tomorrow i sing unknowingly.