A dream

last night I had a profoundly beautiful dream


i was high up in the mountains, the air was cold against my face, the purple of far away mountains and the pale yellow of dusk was all around. two large whooping cranes flew high above my head and I was filled with their majesty.


later i was walking down the road. a wind sprung up . it first rustled the tall pale grasses and then lifted my hair.


a voice filled me and said: "you are always yearning towards following the wind. wanting to follow it to where you will find me. in a land free of people with their bustle and noise. where there is only my voice in the wind and a liberated nature"


I felt my entire being streaming after the wind, filled with its lightness. i longed to follow it to where god can be found. pale pink and yellow triangles of light was carried along the wind, together with pale white bits of grass.


the voice continued. "if you penetrate deeply into everything that surrounds you, everything, whether you perceive it as good or bad, you will find me. because that is where i reside. where love resides. everything starts in me and returns to me”

Suddenly I see

After being absent for many days,
today I find myself hunting for words.
My thoughts scatter in different directions.
Which one should I bound after?

If I quietly wait next to a clear stream
the thirsty ones might find me.

On entering my favorite field
I find one of three rocks tucked away behind tall grasses.

I loose my ankle in cold water. It has been raining a lot.
Puddles hide underneath tufts of bright green grass.
I laugh with all that surrounds me.

Last week I was not here.
I sit here, one week ago, my heart feels broken.
I am fighting with F. I am unlovable, unlikable, lost.
Huddled in this sacred space I allow myself to cry.

Why keep going when I no longer want to try?

Then I remember.

I turn inwards
into a space that is always lonely, always scared
I allow a bit of warm autumn sunlight, a small purple flower
and a gentle enclosing to enter with me.

Together we turn around another

into a new life. I am all around me.

Today I am here. In a field full of sunshine and dancing clouds.
A eagle circles above, preceded by a flock of gulls
My dogs splash through the grasses.

At home awaits an autumn harvest.
Pumpkins, beans and glowing red tomatoes.

a silent day