Joy

the emotion of great delight

happiness caused by something exceptionally good or satisfying;

keen pleasure;

elation.

Bliss

Afternoon in an urban foodgarden

Genesis of Siyakhana Garden
The premise for the Siyakhana Garden Project grew out of the observation that food insecurity was prevalent in the inner city communities of Johannesburg served by the mobile dental service of the Oral Health division of the Health Promotion Unit at University of Wits. The impact of malnutrition, in particular access to fresh fruits and vegetables, was visible in the high rates of periodontal and other gum diseases. In an attempt to begin to address some of these issues, community gardening models were examined and thought to be a way to improve access to fresh produce, even in the urban setting of Johannesburg.


The principle of permaculture was invoked as a way of preventing the project to be under constant danger of collapse due to funding constraints, since ideally, a well-established permaculture project should not require much ongoing financial input. A consortium of sixteen NGOs and Early Childhood Development Centers (ECDCs) were recruited from the region with the idea of making the project a joint effort between the university and those that would eventually benefit from it.

In 2007 the overall goal of the project had been revised to reflect the expanding diversity of activities and reads as follows: “establish a model permaculture food garden system for food production, education, research and empowerment of the community (particularly women) through training, employment and income generating opportunities. This will ensure and nurture the development of a sustainable and productive environment necessary for the improvement of the health, social and economic status of the inner city community.”

The Impact of Urban Food Gardens on the Health of Communities : an Evaluation of the Siyakhana Bezuidenhout Park Permaculture Project in Johannesburg, South Africa, Master's program in Global Public Health, 2007–2008 Capstone Project New York University.

Wake up yelp

This morning I found a reminder to keep trying
because new things need practice before they become part of one.

I remembered why I started studying at 36,
how much I am learning,
that essays and exams will get easier with practice
and that I'm working towards a future
where nature is invited to the dance.
(actually since she is happily dancing on her own maybe,
if we smile with her, she will invite us to join her)

Remembering is good because sometimes I feel
like just giving up and moving to Auroville.

This wanting to give up because of a lack of perfection,
has followed me like a shadow all my life.

Luckily, the ability to recognize a message,
when it comes shining through the clouds,
tripples right alongside my shadow.

So with a lighter heart I will continue studying
for my geography exam because if allowed,
Geomorphology will teach me how erosion shapes a landscape,
Rural Livelihoods will share the resourcefulness of the vulnerable
and Sustainable Cities will fill me with hope.

Its my last exam before three glorious weeks of
getting to rearrange furniture,
take photos, blog and cook new meals,
plant out winter vegetable seedlings,
making mandalas from natural materials
read a stack of books -
Jung on alchemy and Mandalas,
Children's Participation in Environmental Projects,
Nature's Psychology,
A Victorian suspense novel -,
start a research project on an inner city foodgarden,
and find a part time job, preferably in a nursery (for plants).

And so I continue mapping my future.

Don't fence me in

Today my heart is pushing up into my eyes,
straining towards understanding.

I feel like I am floating between connection and disconnection.

Where does this sudden, intense yearning
for meaning well up from?

Hundreds of images dance behind my eyes.
As I reach for them,
they softly disperse into darker corners.

Sometimes I miss being a new age hippie.
Life then was filled with colour and hidden messages.

I truly believed in the ability to speak with animals,
that magic existed and that a teacher would appear.

Now I know a lot more, yet remember little.

A lack of memory
might allow magic to show me a new face.

One made beautiful by its complexity.

I am thankful for all the wonderful blessings in my life.

Still, I wish for a white owl swooping
down through a dark blue dusk.

For a door to open, allowing me access
to the many strange landscapes of my unconscious.

For the voice of reason to adopt a gentler,
more humorous tone.

For magic to roam free.


I bite into an autumn quince and for a moment it does.

Truth recedes only to re-appear

Having given myself the evening off from studies in order to blog I find myself staring at the screen considering rather burying my nose in puppy fluff.

These days I find myself dreaming in statistical equations.

The last couple of months have swept me up, tumbled me around and landed me flat on my back with sand in my ears and sea-water up my nose. I feel dislocated yet excited.

Moments of clarity, where my future reaches towards me, dances with moments of doubt, filled with the knowledge that I might never achieve anything.

Feeling this drained of energy scares me. Will it all be worth it? I hope so.

On Monday I decided to study outside. For a moment I let my books fall to the side as my eyes got swept up in the dance of the yellow leave. The sounds of other leaves clapping gently dissolved the grip of looming exams around my heart.

Fear of failure cannot exist underneath a blue autumn sky.

I find myself questioning why I chose a path leading into densely printed text and away from mindless contemplation.

Today I received an answer from the university library:

"I believe that native leaders and activists [...] have taken on a core role of the old shamans, that of protecting their people by cultivating a special knowledge of other worlds. They sense, in a way that the old shaman cannot, how the hidden reality behind the surface of daily appearances has changed.

Instead of the spirits of animals, land, and sky, modern native leaders must understand regional and federal government agencies and international organizations. Like the upper and lower worlds of the shamanic cosmology, the purpose of these bureaucratic worlds are inscrutable to ordinary people, yet they have the power to nurture or destroy them.

A drilling license granted over a community's head to a multinational company can sever the reindeers' migration routes and smother their pasture under devastating oil spills; a nature reserve created with the uncomprehending encouragement of an international wildlife organization can destroy a community and starve the families who are forbidden to catch food in their own home; a nomads' territory mistakenly marked as uninhabited and unused on the plan of a project that does not consult the people can be lost forever.

This is the capriciousness of Bayanay carried into new realms. Where shamans would traditionally 'fly' on reindeer or drums made from their skins to locate wild animals for harvesting and to fend of hostile spirits, these new native leaders fly in aeroplanes between ministries, parliaments, and expert committees, petitioning and bargaining for their communities, making sure a native voice is heard, harvesting new laws about land rights and natural resource management, and remaining ever vigilant for new kinds of threats.

Like shamans, they cannot work alone with their own limited strength but need helper spirits, who include sympathetic scholars, lawyers, and activists in Russian cities and abroad."
The reindeer people - living with animals and spirits in Siberia. Piers Vitebsky

If I want my children to also enjoy the dance of the wind, I might have to reach towards a new spirituality. Although at times I will be filled with fear and doubt I will continue on my journey. Even when it travels through worlds filled with statistics, empirical evidence and legislation.

I will therefore return to my books tomorrow.

If I listen carefully I might hear the wind
calling me through the turn of the pages.

For Jen - a shaman flying through lands of bureaucracy .