So many feelings so few words

How do I describe the many moments making up my days when they are too vast to confine in a couple of black squiggles on a white page? Hugging Arjun. Softly scratching his white chest. Seeing him curled up beside me. Soon we will spend our days apart.

I want things to change. New knowledge. My feet are placed on roads to different futures. I want things to stay the same. My field safe from building plans.

My bed a warm nest around me. My time my own. Those I love are around me.

Yesterday we went for a walk in the rain. I tentatively try to slip into a moment between two raindrops while the wolves bound into their freedom.

We walk towards the river. Everything explodes into green.

Over the bridge. Into a never before explored field. My toes dip into the river flowing from the sky through the grasses and into my shoes.

Rock stands solidly orange in the moving green and gray landscape.

Wet brown trees crown themselves with yellow.

Before stepping forward we pause.

A river. Pushing and straining and leaping and singing. My heart beats to its power.

I have merged into the moment. My heart becomes each moment my eyes delight in.

Branches form tunnels into other worlds.

Unexplored paths. Wild grasses and flowers. Moments of joy.

Rain drops falling on my lens. Puddles of water. Glowing wet pebbles.

Everything green. Full silver clouds. Twinkling grass seeds.

We are back on the road that reflects the trees into which it disappears.

Water splashes up around wet feet.

Back into the field. My pants are wet, my toes emerged in water.

Resting back into the wet grass. Covered with wet rain and wolf kisses. I look up.

Worry about the future holds my heart back from exploding into pure joy.

Although the joy is there this moment enfolds all into the same tight embrace. The joy is there, the fear is there, the rain and the grass. The sky and the trees and me. The cries of guinea fowl encouraged by bounding wolves to soar into the trees.