Unfurling (...desert wind)

It was Saturday morning and I have had time to unfurl my bullet points into circular shapes moving in and out of their interior dynamics. Sometimes I curl tightly around these dynamics not wanting to see them or have others see, and sometimes like this morning I am happy to watch how their inputs and outputs spirals into and out of them, like mist. Not a heavy threatening mist but the kind of mist that gently swirls catching the early morning sun. I am in the process of reprogramming the way I relate to processes at work. I curl away from them. The workshop participants seem threatening instead of helpful. I am like the child I use to be putting of to school as long as I can. But ever so often I realize that there is so much possibility in these groups, that we are working towards something, together. That there must be a way to harness the positive feelings people have towards rewriting a system and make it a creative process, enjoyable for all. But for that to happen I must relax the bullet points, the need for validation, the assumptions that I know what is going on and the wish to sneak back to my desk to have a cup of coffee and some liquorice. And to allow the emotions that build up the previous day to be blown about into impressive blue, purple clouds, to have the silence hanging for a moment over the landscape, pregnant with possibility, to hear the thunder calling to the lightning and then to have the rain blown about and fierce. Once all has settled, the air is clear, everything looks as bright as pebbles reflected through sunlit water. And the world is filled with fresh possibilities.

After writing this, I tried to post it on the Blog only to discover I forgot my user name password. A frustrating half an hour later my heart was beating faster, my head felt like there was a dry wind blowing through it and my bullet points shriveled into dry hot balls of fury...