I have a confession to make. For the last couple of days I have been mooning about, crying, fighting with Florian, suffering from hay fever, worry, depression and insomnia. I became convinced that my life sucks and fantasized about leaving it all to go live in a meadow on my own.
However, as soon as I realized that I needed Florian's help with building a meadow house, I started crying all over again. Finally, after reading the quote below by Dan Price, and deciding in the early hours of the morning to take things one step at a time, knowing that each step in bringing me closer to what I want, I feel oh so much better. I am even singing along with Bob Marley.
"Some of us are born with unrealizable and unattainable dreams. They push and pull our beings through life like a pack of wild dogs on the end of a hundred straining leashes. But just coming to realize that some of those dreams could be a reality can be the first big step in a person coming of age. Then comes an even scarier part, where those subtle voices that emanate from hidden pockets in the universe all around, ask you to step of cliffs!
Having the guts to do so may be the biggest test of all. It seems that everywhere some of us look we see hints and signs of a better way. A way that is however contrary to the accepted "belief system". Many and even most of your family and friends will contend that the safe course lies with the herd. "Security" is coveted like a Olympic flame and carried aloft for all to see. "Conventionality" has become societies mantra scratched deep and hard into stone.
There are a few pioneers however. Souls who feel the pull of the cliff's edge more keenly and when no one is looking, leap off, falling, falling. It is the most free they will ever feel. But don't search for their remains there amongst the boulders below, because the very faith that convinced them to jump from that precipice, quietly caught them half way down and took them to a whole new place.
A new world bright with endless possibility. A land where fear is welcomed and walked into rather than avoided. These people discover an unknown secret about life and are forever changed. Some have become legends. Some simply die."
Radical simplicity - Dan Price, http://www.moonlight-chronicles.com/
It never cease to amaze me how terrible I can feel the one day and how absolutely fine the next. Like I'm two people.
26 comments:
You're so right, there are so many emotions that we go through that sometimes I don't understand myself.
P.S The car has been behaving lately.
You made me feel so much better about what I'm going through. It's good to not be alone.
I'm hoping I'll be singing with Bob Marley tomorrow.
It's good to know that I am not alone. I actually think that maybe I am going crazy...
Then again, maybe it is actually because we are only human...
Have a wonderful weekend, Hel. Be safe and thank you for always inspiring us with your beautiful words...
But you are two people. Probably even more.
And I can totally identify with "being born with unrealizable and unattainable dreams" pushing and pulling our beings through life.
I have yet to be happy while stepping into nothingness but then I'm not enough of a Fool for it.
Taking the leap... yes. That is what (at least for me) finally brought me peace.
I know what you are talking about though with the swings, one way to the other.
I used to live that way... all the time.
Wouldn't want to go back to it.
Peace,
~Ch
That last sentence of yours---I feel that even as I leap off the cliff into this new life of mine.
Maybe that is why so many of like reading each other. We recognize the restless spirit. Torn between one thing and the other.
Being and feeling one way and then the next day feeling entirely at odds with what we were.
Doesn't make it easy though.
i can relate to this so much. some days i feel so powerful, able, mighty. other days i feel small, so small, hiding. scared.
i've been in the latter more than the former lately. fear, see is a powerful mistress. just when you get to the edge she stops you cold.
Hel, you have no idea, or maybe you do, how many people will read and not comment...but you will have saved a part, if not all, of someone's life with this.
I so needed to read those words today.
Much love,
Mary
I loved this post and the images. The ideas of being "pioneers" really shook me this morning. Perhaps we all should become "pioneers of simplicity."
"Like I'm two people." No doubt - that's exactly how I've been feeling lately. Totally together on the outside, flipping out regularly on the inside (and sometimes, at home with HH). Thank God our boys are (uaully) patient.
Beautiful
the swinging back and forth...yes. i swing to the dark side too often of late, trying to pull myself to the other side is more of a conscious effort than at other times. but at this age, i now know that this too, shall pass. that it's my way and that i have to work a little harder at it than others.
thanks for the beautiful poem you left at my place. it touched me deeply. thanks so much.
We are all like two or three people - you are not alone. Ahem, I mean the two of you and the two of me are not alone....
I hope you are feeling better. Love from Marrakech.
Lovely, Hel. Reflective.
Amen, sister!!!
To everything-- to the pursuit of dreams-- the scary, crazy things our dreams make us do and to the up and down of life-- happy one day, despondent the next-- it's tough to be a sensitive, creative soul, non?
~bluepoppy
Beautiful post, just beautiful.
I hope you have a nice break and enjoy your two week course.
beautiful pictures and words, as always!
oO2BnS Your blog is great. Articles is interesting!
EUdcH8 Nice Article.
7l73zG Thanks to author.
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