Truth Cycles

Time -
the time that we know through clocks and calenders
- was invented.
Encyclopedia Britannica.

Since going back to University I have been fighting with time. Time for assignments, time for housework, time for creativity, reading, learning, studying, sleeping, dog-walks, family, friends and time to remember to be me.

Luckily, as part of my anthropology course we explored the meaning of time. Therefore I can share a shortened version of an essay, describing my experience of time, with you and still find time to relate it all back to social justice. Hah! I will attempt to fool time into giving me a few minutes for free.

Have you ever noticed how each day has been divided into hours, each hour into minutes and each minute into seconds? How most of our activities occur within a time-frame?

“Time is imagined as something outside ourselves against which we measure our work and our day”
Delaney 2007: 80.

Time is “one of the major ways in which we orientate ourselves” Delaney 2007: 81

Although time structures many of our actions it does not exist, really exist. Because time forms such an integral part of our daily experience, we might no longer recognise that it is an abstract concept. Yet, it constrains most of our actions and thoughts. Because we live in a world that is governed by time we might not be able to disregard its laws. For example, the dance class I am about to describe occurs in a clearly delimited stretch of time and time for it is allocated in each participant’s day. Time is further subdivided into periods of structured dance routines and free-dancing - a period of time in which dancers allow their bodies to follow their own rhythm.

What's more, each period is divided into two or more musical tracks which the dance facilitator carefully selects and compiles before each class. Each dance routine is also broken into a number of steps and performed for a set amount of times to fit into a musical track.

To get to class on time we wake up at a certain hour, complete a number of set tasks and leave thirty minutes before our class starts. Yet, despite all these time constraints many of my class members agree that our dancing experience seems to exist outside the bounds of time.

Once I became aware of the way even my dance movements are structured, I notice that the only way I can relax is by counting and memorising each dance sequence. Two steps to the front, one to the side and two to the back. As I become used to the steps I can relax my concentration yet I need enough concentration to stop my thoughts from wandering. Suddenly, I feel free. Time seemed to have found a way of escaping its boundaries.

Feeling outside of time makes me wonder what my fellow dancers are experiencing. I look around me. How are others experiencing the dance? Some seem to learn the new sequences effortlessly. Others stumble. Some dance with abandon and lengthen their movements. Others hold their bodies rigidly and take small careful steps.

Some look at themselves in the mirror, others look at the floor and others carefully observe the feet of the lead dancer. I’m so busy observing my classmates and pondering the importance of my new realization that I lose track of the steps, stumble and turn to the right rather than the left. Immediately I start wondering what I must look like to the person dancing behind me. No longer dancing to the same rhythm, I find myself out of tune with those around me.

Luckily, at this moment a new track starts and the dance facilitator indicates that it is time for a “free dance” session. We are allowed to abandon formal steps and encouraged to find our own rhythm. While we move to the music and our inner promptings, we appear to step out of our self-allocated spaces. The facilitator encourages us: “own your space”.

The music starts building in tempo. Bodies are sweating. Many dancers seem to lose themselves in the music. Although we move to the same music, each person seems enclosed in a bubble of self. Lost in my own world, I find it easy to forget about the way I appear to those around me. I feel liberated and free in expressing my true self.

Then I remember reading that the “real self” is not necessarily more real than the “social self”. In fact the conversation I am having with my “real self” is probably based on the many conversations I’ve had in the course of my life. It is therefore possible that my sense of self is merely an extension of my social interactions.

Once the free-dancing time has come to an end, each dancer returns to the space they claimed when they first arrived. To my relief we are instructed to imagine that the next dance occurs in a square. Rather than following new complex arrangements of steps I know on which corner to rest each step. Our movements are repeated first to the left and then to the right.

Concentrating on a simple routine permits me to get caught up in the movement. My moment of rest, however, is short lived. Next, we get to move sideways in three long strides followed by two twirls and a clap. The sudden freedom of movement seems to cause a certain amount of confusion….I am out of time again. As my body flies into the opposite direction I collide with my fellow dancers. My feelings of discomfiture reappear.

I find myself wondering whether
I can only escape into the timeless
when I am safely enclosed in time’s structure?

I don't have an answer.

However I now have a whole lot of new questions to ponder.

Is it possible that while we bemoan world dictators, the dictator of time and his henchman language hold the ultimate power over us? What influence does the way that we describe time ('if time allows') have on our relationship with ourselves and that which surrounds us?

Will we ever be able to change our ways without first becoming aware of how our concepts of time and space influence us? When is there time to reflect on social issues, never mind doing something about them when work and dishes are snarling over the the last fifteen minutes of the day? Can we only become free of existing systems if we de-construct their structures? Can we experience freedom without structure? Can we experience structure without freedom?

Can we change the world without changing the way we describe, structure and view the world?

"Time is imagined as something outside ourselves against which we measure our work and days. But what if time was considered a gift rather than a instrument of measure? What metaphors would we use to describe it? How might such a different conception of time affect your daily life?"
Delaney 2007: 82

For now I will savor the time I have received. Enough to gain a better understanding of statistics, culture, psychology and geography as well as kiss my boyfriend, have lunch on the lawn, cuddle three puppies, take my dogs for a walk and change the world.