can i let go into the flow of that which i cannot yet know?
i roll around
in the middle of a shifting moving reality.
a million faceless voices reflect through the cave of my skull.
i stand on the side thinking
"what the fuck?".
energy course through my body.
each cell dances its own direction.
the static part squeezes its eyes shut.
refusing to acknowledge reality
until it figures out what is going down.
or up.
the ball of energy in my head paws the ground.
it snorts and leaps forward to kill at the least provocation.
or it pulls back in itself and whimpers.
it cries. it fears. it is angry it is sad.
meanwhile, the ringmaster cracks her whip.
if it is in her head it is under her command.
"be happy" she shouts
and feels exasperated when the beast starts crying.
how do i maintain relationship while my mind rearranges itself?
9 comments:
gently, very gently.
your blog is beautiful, heartfelt, and true.
"each cell dances its own direction" and you must let them dance themselves down, exhausted, slowly. rest your dear heart, dear heart.
xoxo
Debi
may you feel safe, may you feel happy, may you feel strong, may you live with ease...if not in this moment...then very soon.
gentle steps
I am holding you, sister dear.
be kind to yourself. you are human. and trust me... you are not alone in feeling these feelings. much love to you.
Those are such autumnal photos ... kind of disorienting (in a good way) for those of us in the midst of spring.
Relationships are resilient, like trampolines. Go where you need. Everything will be fine.
Ah, you don`t have to be happy at all times. How could you, after such a loss? But move on, don`t stand still. Sit in the boat and let it take you down the river, let your hands touch the water, look up at the sun, sparkling through the trees. Fall asleep for a while...and dream. Life will hold good things in store for you, believe me!
These images are exquisite and otherworldly. Beautiful and fleeting, like the mind, like relationships.
Be gentle with yourself, ok? Cut yourself some slack as we Americans say.
Sending much love
Embrace the changes in your heart and mind. You'll get where you need to be wiser, with time
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