Justice for all

I spent the weekend reading a book by Alice Miller on how we are taught as children that only certain parts of us are lovable. We are often loved more for our abilities than for being all of who we are. Soon we start to despise everything but these characteristics, not only in others, but also in ourselves.

We compare ourselves with everything and often feel less or more lovable than that which we perceive. When recognizing that we are complete and worthy of being loved just because we are we can experience the joy and diversity inside and outside of ourselves.


“Contempt simply evaporates, having lost its point, when it is no longer useful as a shield – against the child's shame over his desperate, unreturned love; against his feelings of inadequacy; or above all against his rage that his parents were not available.

[...] we have to despise everything in ourselves that is not wonderful, good and clever. Thus we perpetuate the loneliness of our childhood: We despise weakness, helplessness, uncertainty – in short, the child in ourselves and in others. (Miller, A, 1997, The drama of being a child)

Like many behaviours contempt and exclusion are learned from others, often our parents, who learned it from their parents who learned it from theirs. With practise any learned behaviour can be unlearned which might eventually result in children who are no longer taught to feel contempt for parts of themselves but knows that all their facets and emotions are acceptable and lovable. Certain behaviours might not be acceptable but every human being should be loved for who they are and not for outward signs of behaviour.

The child in me has been coveting the pink rocking girl button. I have told myself not to be silly. That it does not matter. However I have realized that it does. So I am seizing this button for my child. She giggles with delight.

And now I get to nominate the girls, and boy, who rock my world. All twenty six of them, because how could four blogs ever communicate the fabulousness and range of the women I admire? I humbly offer this award to my muses.


Bohemian creations : The picture of her kitten's paws makes me go all soft and happy and her posts are filled with green and sun and wonder.


Fortune and Glory : She eats asparagus for breakfast and writes with such sensitive thoughtfulness that I can almost feel her thoughts soaring past.


Getting it wrong : She applies her self with humorous determination to everything she does. She moves and shakes.

Guilty with an explanation : I laugh and laugh and every now and again I cry a little bit. She also owned a wolf and we are therefore in a strange sort of a way related.

Gumdrops & Bubble Thoughts : Her words delicately dance across the page, glad that they have reached perfection.

la vie en rose : Her poetry speaks to my soul and the everyday shyly reveals its true colors to her lens.


My Marrakesh : She fills my days with glamor and beauty yet she is also a slice of rye bread with goats feta and olives. Like a true Persian carpet she is rich, colorful, filled with delicate details and made to bring joy, not to be placed in a glass box.


Running on Empty : I can almost taste the deliciousness of her words. She cares. Her words smile.

NotSoSage : She lives her beliefs and eats burgers with sage. I feel as if we have already met. Soon we will talk as if we saw each other only yesterday.


Shilly Shally, Dilly, Dally? : Like a hero of old she resonates with a longing to find her true way. She is also funny and honest.

Shimodas Dream : She writes about growing up and I am transported into a world I never dreamed existed.

Sticking to the Point : Her self portraits blow me away, she buys small aprons with flowers on, goes to book readings and shows me street art.

Thailand Gal : She goes boldly where I won't even go with myself. And questions and searches for her truth. She does not offer easy answers and through her explorations my own answers appear.

Third Story : Her poetry, her class of girls, her photos and her world makes my heart yearn for answers. She finds beauty where others would see none.

Crazymumma : She has lived, her love for her daughters shines through her words and her posts are filled with a richness and empathy that comes with knowing.

Creative.Mother.Thinking : She sings, posts about creativity and hag rags and her life seems filled with a sunlit integrity. After reading her posts I always realize that little steps lead to greatness.


Under the Ponderosa : Her world is filled with trees and rivers, bicycle rides and birds. I go there and I rest in nature and enchanting happenings in her home.

waiting on the front porch : She is filled with courage and caring, questions and stories, vulnerability and strength.

writing as jo(e) : Her writing inspires me to keep writing. Her world inspires me to keep living.

Little Pea : When she is sun and sea she is sun and sea and when she is winter and sick she is winter and sick. She never takes herself too seriously and she loves Peanut.


Synergy Weblog : I am so in love with this man, his dreams and his work.

Capacious : She is funny and gritty and always says something that surprises a shout of laughter from me.

A fanciful twist : She adds a twirl here and a curl there and everything becomes light , fun and wonderful.

Tired Mummy : Often when I am ready to give in to the mean-spirited side of me, I read her words and I am ready to stop struggling and just be.

One plus two : No matter what she writes about she writes from her heart. Her words are never bigger than she is. She is always passionate, always Jen. Growing closer to who and what she loves.

Flutter Crafts : She is as fragile and magic as moonlight and yet she is as powerful as the sun. She is a mermaid who sings to an ocean of beauty.

Each one of you are so different yet I would not have it any other way. You allow me to see through your eyes, learn from your dreams and laugh with your words.

Oi, the afternoon is gone and I have not even told you about my weekend, sitting in the sun reading, watching the moon rise over the hills while standing amongst the ruins of a settlement long gone, seeing the dogs jump into and out of the river again and again and rolling and jumping through the fields and me doing soul searching and findings answers in my dreams.