I'm not sure

You know the feeling that you get in your heart when you see someone you have a crush on? The sharp sweet tug towards the one you yearn to love?

Today I visited a group of crèches in a township about an hour's drive outside joburg. Broad dirt roads, small brick and corrugated iron homes with cleanly swept yards, yellow grasses, people sitting together in small groups and clear blue winter skies.

My eyes takes some time to adjust to the light inside. Rows of eyes stare at me from bright green, yellow and red plastic chairs. I step into a second group where the almost babies sit. When these eyes rests on me they fill with tears. Three of the five starts crying with fear. Who is this strange tall person?

We are putting together small photo stories on each crèche. Once the children realize they can see their image on the small digital screen once the photo is taken I am quickly surrounded. I disappear into a group huddle. They scream with delight when they recognize themselves or their friends.

We stop at the local church to take photos of a group of ladies. They are the mothers of some of the children in the crèche. Funds have been raised for them to participate in a beading project. They get money for each bracelet they produce. We need to put together a small profile on each to show to the sponsor.

After taking their pictures I take pictures of the children sitting outside in the sun. They are serious about the poses they strike. A boy of about twelve winks at me in a slightly cynical fashion.

Inside a group sits with their teacher. They too are serious about their studies.

Next we visit a crèche called happy kids. At first they are skeptical. But the magic of seeing themselves in the small digital window wins their favor. Soon I am surrounded by small faces and arms. All want to see themselves. One manages to twist himself into every photo. A small scuffle ensues. I land flat on my bum. Laughter everywhere.

The teacher gets everyone to sit at their desks. Every time the flash goes of the models cheer.

Everyone wears new bright hats. Delicate flowers surrounded by the frames of their hoods. My heart expands and starts aching.

It is six hours later and still my heart is awake. I cannot describe the feeling. But I am aware of it all the time. It is as if it wants to expand and fill my whole body yet hide deep inside itself.