and i am confused and at peace. sometimes the one, some times the other and sometimes both at the same time.
in the last month i have received a calling followed by a spirit wrenching initiation process. each morning when i say my prayers nothingness stir through my heart. sometimes i remember and sometimes i forget.
our hen was killed by a dog. we don't know where she was hiding her eggs.
soon i will go on an amazing journey named the call of the wild.
i find peace in not knowing.
i still pray for a gentle female teacher to show me the way of compassion and magic. who will laugh with me and tell me stories. who will sit with me in the nothingness and who will drum me into a laughing dancing frenzy. a compassionate heart.
i wonder about death often. sometimes my dreams are filled with the voices of the ancestors.
i want to share this. i want to keep it safely held in the silence of my heart.
i feel confused. i feel found. i feel anxiety. i feel acceptance. i feel yearning. i feel peace.
each day is mundane. when i remember each moment awash with new magic . everything is the same old same. all have changed.
i don't know.
may your heart remember you*
8 comments:
as ever wonderful words. of great peace and energy simulantously.
I hope you find your teacher, but I think it will be you giving to yourself and learning and accepting day by day.
xx
I felt like I followed you through this day, your words at my side as I wandered from light to dark.
You are the truest poet I know.
xo
Debi
my heart cannot forget you
Oh yes, you feel it, Hele, all is connected, all is one. Death is everywhere, but so is life. It is not even much of a difference. Time, distance, life or death, it all does not matter much. We are part of it all by the love that surrounds us. And as long as we live, we are allowed and able to enjoy what we see, and give and hsare, which is the best, I think.
Love to you, my Hele!
Those are some amazing photos. A nice glimpse of things to come.
Just wanted to swing by and thank you for your words over at Flutter's. I am sorry, and grateful . . .
Hi sweetie.
I would love to hear more about your initiation, anything that you're comfortable sharing. It "feels" powerful, even from here, so far away.
I'm sure you'll find a lovely teacher, though "gentle" is not normally a quality that can be found in teachers of magic. If it is possible, though, I'm sure you will do it.
xx
It took a long time for me to accept that everything mundane is also "path". It seems hard to accept that something as "regular" as say....the toilet.....is a spiritual act....but that is how we learn to believe from the dimensions of our cultural boundaries. Everything we do to "find" purpose is done all day, everyday for there is no such thing as a single epiphany which leads us to consciousness. once we learn to see all life as "epiphany"...by refusing to divide into parts...even the smallest, most boring act becomes instantly appreciable. Think about this for it will help you understand the true nature of 'zen' and the wonder a child experiences in learning.
Post a Comment