For the last couple of days I've been digging around for answers.
For truth.
For comfort.
For truth.
For comfort.
Looking at the autumn sun
dancing across the surface of a leave,
chasing its shadows across the lawn,
I feel found.
I will wait, the answer will come and it will be glorious.
At three in the morning I am filled with resentment.
Five more years of study, exams and assignments.
Dreary lecture halls and nineteen year olds.
Debates around the nature of Freud, time and climate change.
All controlled by tight deadlines.
Five more years of study, exams and assignments.
Dreary lecture halls and nineteen year olds.
Debates around the nature of Freud, time and climate change.
All controlled by tight deadlines.
Yet, I love learning new things.
A whole new world unfolds in my brain.
Information on culture, children and environmental education.
A career unfolding that will change me and my world.
I stumble while trying to keep in sync with time's rhythms.
Where to find the time to do all I want.
To watch clouds chasing their dreams across the sky.
I dream of dance classes and photography classes.
Drawing classes and tea in brightly colored cups.
Time to nurture myself. To just be.
Does a plant pushing through the soil feel at ease?
Or does it push blindly, hoping for a burst of light to suddenly fill its world?
Or does it push blindly, hoping for a burst of light to suddenly fill its world?
I will keep on extending towards the unknown.
Even if the memory of light sometimes seems like a dream.
Even if the memory of light sometimes seems like a dream.
23 comments:
I think it pokes through the ground, looking for the burst of light.
i think we're all chasing some truth. sometimes it races around the corner before we get it in our sights.
One truth comes at a time, even though we want them sooner.
If more people were asking the questions that you are, the world would be a finer place. What a superb piece of writing, and gorgeous photos.
Chasing dreams... catching them and holding on tight... it is a magical cycle, yes?
Hold on to what you know will come, and breathe deep through what is now... it is all we can do, yes?
:-)
(((HUGS))),
love,
me
What beautiful photos of the pups and their ma.
also the last shot which has a lot of emotion in it.
Your writing...sigh.
I would love to take a drawing class with you and sip tea out of brightly coloured cups.
And I've been thinking a lot about Joe, Mme L and I taking some time out of our lives to give to an orphanage in your neck of the woods. It may be a while, but it's in the works.
And those pups! Swoon.
I just love the juxtaposition of the words and images. It creates a very dreamy, narrative effect.
"Does a plant pushing through the soil feel at ease?
Or does it push blindly, hoping for a burst of light to suddenly fill it world?"
This blew my mind. What a perfect, perfect way to sum up the frustration of growing. It's not easy, but it's worth it when you get into the sunlight.
You are amazing.
Every time you let me into your world here, sweet sister, I find answers to questions I hadn't thought to ask.
I love you.
God, I love to read your words and let them wash over me, seeping into the little cracks of my psyche here and there, until, too soon, your words are at an end.
Sigh...all will be revealed to us, in its proper time, but you already knew that, I'm sure.
The pups look healthy, as does their mama. Life is good.
oh...i know.
i so know about how this feels too.
Does a plant pushing through the soil feel at ease?
I think the plant pushing to the light is just so damned happy its attention and awareness is less focused on any felt sense of discomfort. It's too excited, too filled to the brim with joy and the pull of the need/promise to finally "be"...bigger, actualized.
The beauty in becoming.
(smiling into your shining eyes)
In other words, the plant is too busy and happy to notice whether or not it is at ease. Bigger callings shift attention.
Better.
Hel, you are oh so wise. The answer will come because you are receptive to receiving it. Sending light your way, in the meantime.
And those puppies are TOO cute.
Phew. I remember that I had a hard time studying with 19yos when I was a 19yo myself. I can't imagine how it must feel to you. On the other hand that new career feels right somehow. You'll see. (And I know you know.)
ah, hel, it's good to be back here catching up with you and your wolves and your beautiful meadows and beautiful resilient you.
Beautiful words...and I covet those puppies!
Cxx
The puppies are so amazing! Thank you.
As for a plant pushing up through dirt, or a chick pecking its way out of an egg, or babies on their way to this world, travelling through the birth canal, all are nervous, all are worried, all wonder what will be the outcome.
You're strong and pure and you will triumph. Bravo!
Oh, your words remind me of a story my Grandma made up for me about an orange seedling who wanted to be taller. The sky said to it, "Keep on pushing, little sprout, you'll make it." She would recite it to me because I was always resentful of always being the youngest and littlest one, left behind...
Thanks for the pix. I love how tiny the feet look.
"I will keep on extending towards the unknown."
yes-- keep growing, learning, stretching towards the sun.
Its been nice reading you agin. I have been gone for a bit.
What poetry of soul Hel. These past few posts. How I would love to sit around a fire with you.
what a lovely post. just stumbled onto your blog. i love the way you used the photos of the puppies as a contrast to your musings. just lovely!
You are much missed these last few days! I hope you find everything you are searching for.
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