All I want for Chrismas time is me

My mind dances through flashes of realisations and swings along to the music made by small moments of reality.


A walk with F's three year old nephew G ( "I am three for real but four play-play). We walk through the beginning of a tunnel dug for the new Gautrain. High walls of bright red soil surrounds us. We splash through puddles of red, orange and yellow puddles, the mid day sky a brilliant blue river above our heads.


The next day an ugly fight with F about the division of household duties, a walk that starts with G stepping on a bee, ends with my dogs getting attacked by two pit-bulls. This is accompanied by the hysterical screams of their owner.


A hard kick moves the pit-bull, between my dogs and the car, to the other side of the road, the dogs jump into the car and me and G laugh with relief all the way home.


"You can notice as you are communicating with a client or a loved one that the responses that you are getting are not the ones that you want. If you take that as an indication that what you are doing is not working and change your behaviour then something else will happen. If you leave your behaviour the same you will get more of what you are getting. Now, this sounds utterly simple. For some reason , that seems to also be the hardest thing in the world to put into action."
frogs into princes - Richard Bandler and John Grindler


Before we fall asleep Florian puts his arm around me and I move closer. My heart jumps across the divide caused by angry words.


I wake up early in the morning in a panic. Did I loose my cell phone? Lately I have been loosing things. My favourite coat and my I-always-feel-better-when-I-wear-them-trainers. They disappear with me into spaces when life gets too hectic to follow but they don't return when I do. After a while I find the phone under my car seat.


I go back to sleep thinking about Milton Erickson's methods of self hypnosis. I ask my unconscious to look for the me that disappeared when I got too busy to allow beauty's movements to slowly unwind me. I dream of meeting a teacher who healing touch travels through me like an electric current.


I wake up and Florian and I talk about what our response triggering behaviours could be and what could change if we make what small changes to these behaviours. We could turn into a whole lot of different couples all dancing to a slightly different beat.


I will stop typing now and bury my nose in the soft fur on Arjun's stomach and give thanks for taking the time to search for myself.


For all on this side of the world happy summer celebrations.


"The Circle is cast, we are between the worlds

At the Goddess' feet.

Where magic is real, All becomes 0ne
and beginnings and endings meet.

Blessed Be!"
Summer Solstice Ritual - Kathleen Anderson

For every one else merry Christmas.


In our quiet time We do not speak, because the voices are within us. It is our quiet time. We do not walk, because the earth is all within us. It is our quiet time.... We rest with all of nature....
From a winter solstice celebration - Our quiet time - Nancy Wood