I am still alive but feeling slightly sheepish for not showing up to visit or write.
At the moment life is a frenzy of University projects and exams. If I visit one blog friend I want to visit all and once I start writing I might not stop.
But bliss, after 7 November University is over until next year February.
I find myself remembering walking the five kilometers to my caravan, not another person around and the moon peeping over a hill. To my left a steep drop to the river and on my right a few aloes keeping guard.
Away from my home, my dogs, my Florian and my identity I feel strangely empty. I can no longer remember who I am or why I do what I do.
At first the emptiness is scary.
Later it becomes liberating to be reminded that what I see as me is often my connections to those around me.
There is no me. There is only the night, the moon and a road leading towards a space without memories.
12 comments:
no need to feel sheepish.
but we look forward to November 7th anyhow...
Hang in there. Jst over 3 weeks to go.
I am just glad to see your words, and feel your presence. Experience your light.
i was wondering where my girl had gone off too. and were your ears burning? i was telling some friends who are coming to SA in the next few months about your organization just today.
Always great to hear from you, however infrequently.
Good luck with your university stuff.
Glad to see you around again.
And I think being connected to your community is hardly a bad thing. I can understand why that would feel empty. :)
Peace,
~Chani
Please do tell the name of the book you mentioned on my blog.
a space with out memories.
yes, friend.
i am so glad to read a little of your lovely words.
Dearest Hel. your email rejects me . So here I am. Please come visit my place, you, and your dogs have inspired a wonderful remembering.
You touched on a feeling that I have so often when I am alone...captured it, in fact.
xox
Beautiful photos...
And your words often haunts me long after I have finished reading it.
"There is no me. There is only the night, the moon and a road leading towards a space without memories."
I feel this a lot. Sometimes I wonder if it's what scares me the most.
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